everytime im here means dat im:(

::( words  cant describe everything now..my sadness,my pain..only tears..:(npe ye tiap kli aku nk yakin dgn dia perasaan itu cuma skjp je..lps tu akn jdi contra..aku trlalu paranoid ke..tp aku xleh hlg diri ini dri pkirkn bnda2 negatif tu selagi dlm hati aku ni sjujurnya aku x pernah rs aku layak utk dia sjk dlu till now..xtau nape perasaan itu tetap ada..aku stil trpkirkn kdg2 dia just nk mainkn perasaan aku je nk mngambil ksmptan pd aku je tiap kali aku cuba utk semaikn balik rs percaya aku pd dia tp aku ttp x boleh..even aku mmg syg n cinta dia setulus hati aku tp stil perasaan2 mcm tu dtg tiap kli aku nk rs bhgia..lbh2 lgi dgn layanan dia pd aku lgi buat aku rasa sakit sgt2..dia hanya akn dtg cari aku ble dia rs dia memerlukn aku je kot..bila dia sunyi..btl ke dia pernah rindukn aku..mmg kata2 dia buat aku terbuai tp hanya utk seketika shja..aku cpt sedar n letak dlm hati aku jgn terlalu berharap..dia terlalu smpurna utk diri aku..mybe jgk aku hnya tmpt utk dia dtg bila dia snyi..mybe dia dh ada insan lain..aku x slhkn dia sbb aku mmg x pernah ada dlm hati dia selama ni..:(...sakit utk diterima tp itulah hakikatnya wlu mcm mna gembiranya aku ble berhadapn dgn dia tp aku rs dia x pernah tahu kesakitan yg aku alami tiap kli berpura2 depan dia yg aku rs sgt bhgia bila dia ada disisi cz aku tahu bhgia yg aku rs itu hanya utk seketika..tp dear..wlu apa pn yg i rs pd u perasaan i tetap same..i do love u forever n ever even i tahu cinta ini satu hari nnti aku bunuh jiwa i sndri:(

It doesnt matter what I am

Its so easy to see me as a cute and innocent girl
but you dont know me on the inside
its so easy to wanna control me
to say that I am weak
but you dont know how strong I am
its so easy to say that Im pathetic
that every story I tell is for attention
but you dont even know how I feel
its so easy to say that Im useless
that I stand for nothing
but you dont even know what I can do
maybe Im not that cute, innocent, weak, pathetic and useless !
and it doesnt even matter what I am
cause I would still do everything for the ones I love

special for u dear..my perfect guy

Slowly drifting away into your everlasting eyes.
Looking into emerald diamonds that shine so bright.
Your long black eyelashes raise to the blue skies.
The color of love glazes my way into the dark night.

Skin so soft caress my body into an ecstasy.
Silky as satin brushes across my bare face.
Breathtaking as your touch thats like a fantasy.
It comforts me when I feel out of place.

Lips sweet as candy that long to always satisfy.
A bittersweet sugar rush races through my veins.
Tongue tied words that soar my wings to fly.
A soft touch lessens away all my pain.

If only I could describe everything about you.
I'd go on forever because it could never die.
All I know is that I have a love that is true.
Everything about you makes you the perfect guy.

i love u dear:)

syg sgt2 kt u tp i xleh jmpa u smlm..sory sgt2 dear.n ni 1st tie i tolak ajakan u nk jmpa kn..ssh sgt nk gtau i xbleh jmpa u smlm tp nk bwt cmne kn i trpksa buat mcm tu..watever it is i still love u sama aja..hope i dpt jmpa u lain kli..i do miss u so much..take cre tau..

why its so hard(

npe rs sgt ssh nk lupakan dia..few days he never contact me anymore..tp mmg aku sndri pn brhrp dia x cntact aku lg.i tgk post dia kt wall mnta frens give back their fon no tp aku diamkn je.bai je la.klu btl he need my no i prefer he ask me directly..mybe ni jgk cara yg trbaik utk terus lost cntact n lupkan dia..he seems no need me anymore..mybe btl dia x perluakn aku lg dlm hidup dia skg ni..aku elakkn dri aku dri on9 n tgk page dia sbb aku xnk manangis lgi..dh 2 ari aku x nangis even ble pk psl dia.ni pn dh clup baik..tp still he is in my mind.mmg ssh nk lupakn seseprg yg dh jdi part of my life...xkn ada sorg pn yg boleh faham n rasa itu semua..saat aku bersama dgn dia mmg ssh aku nk luapak semau tubkn skjap tp almost three years..now dh msuk thn baru but xde mmber apa2 mkna pn bg aku..klu dia jgk mmg berniat nk ignore aku forever seems like aku kne tlg dia lupakn aku dgn cra mcm ni..x cntack x text or x berhubung lngsung..its hurt so much actually but  what can i do..sbg seorg prmpaun sdh lumrah kn segalanya di tgn lelaki :(tp syg i xleh tipu diri i sndri till now i still need u in my life,my love just only for u..n i hope stiap penantian i akn ada endingnya cz i love u so much..kt cni je i bleh lauhkn semua perasaan i pd u:(